Heidi Presents, "I Wanna Be A Billionaire, So Frickin’ Bad."

Sometimes, I wish that I was a god. I wish I could get whatever I wanted – a new Honda, that job I interviewed for that went to an internal candidate, Oprah earrings and enough vacation time to take that long solo road trip out west to write a book and find myself. But, then I start to think, why be a god when I could be a billionaire?! Then, I would get whatever I wanted with none of the burden of answering the prayers of the poor masses. If I was a billionaire, I could buy Ryan Phillipe’s car from Cruel Intentions, open an art house movie theater that doesn’t make any money, be friends with Oprah and stop caring about finding myself! Selfishness is bliss.

Better and better, if I was a billionaire, I could have any musician play my birthday party. I mean, Elton John played Rush Limbaugh’s wedding. You can’t tell me that was a favor for a friend.

So, here’s this week’s top five list. If you had any power, any pull or a boat load of money, what five artists, dead or alive, would you want to play a private concert for you? Now consider, you’d have to meet these people, so it’s okay to pick someone who seems like they’d be a rockin’ party guest.

I’m going to give my list, and the B Side is going to list his faves. Your job, fair reader, is to help us decide which list is better, and share your own!

Heidi’s List:

Paul Simon: The real inspiration for this post stems from the cancellation of my dream concert. I had tickets to see Simon and Garfunkel, and it was cancelled because Art has a sore throat. I am bitter, and I decided that I don’t need Garfunkel, just rhymin’ Simon. It would suit me fine to hear Late in the Evening and Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard and I’m sure he’d play The Boxer. Plus, that video for You Can Call Me Al, makes me think that he has a great sense of humor.

The Mamas and the Papas: I’m a sucker for great vocals, and I would love to be blasted by their harmonies in person. And, wouldn't it be great to witness all of that backstage tension?

Jewel: You know that artist that helped you get through being 14 years old? For me, that was Jewel. I have always dreamed of hearing her play her second album live and unplugged just for me. Since a lot of her songs that I was obsessed with were not great hits, seeing her in concert just doesn’t do it for me.

The White Stripes: I have never seen them live, and I think there’s a good chance that they won’t tour again. This makes me sad. Always behind on trends, I started to love them much too late. But, I totally think that Meg White would be comfortable with playing a birthday, right? No pressure, Meg - just good times, and unevenly awesome drumming!

Josh Groban: I am not too ashamed to share that one of my dreams is to be serenaded by Josh Groban. He has the voice of an angel, a smoldering, curly haired angel. And, his guest appearances on Kimmel and Glee have shown that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. We’d drink champagne, hit it off and force our inevitable children to be in a singing group. The Groban Family Singers . . . I like it.


AND NOW.....

THE B SIDE'S LIST: (countdown order of course!)

5. Bradley Nowell and Sublime - I'll start the list by commenting that I thought Heidi's challenge was to come up with 5 deceased artists, so that's what I created. And that works because frankly, I can see live artists pretty much whenever, so why not shoot for the stars? Anyway, I'd have loved to seen Sublime play. I feel like they would have put on a phenomenal show and I could jam all night to my favorite hits.

4. Jim Morrison and The Doors - What can you say but wow. Morrison was noted for putting on outstanding shows and if for some reason you doubt that, listen to the live version of 'Roadhouse Blues'. If you're not pumped after that, check your pulse.

3. John Lennon and The Beatles - Do I really need to explain this one? Beatles are awesome, Lennon died before I was born. Hearing them perform 'I Am The Walrus' in front of my face would be epic.

2. Tupac Shakur - Okay, so maybe it wouldn't even need to be a concert so much as sitting down with him and talking to him - discussing music and hearing how he comes up with such brilliant lyrics. What an intelligent, enthusiastic - misunderstood soul that went way before his time.

1. Jimi Hendrix - Come on. Was there any doubt he'd be number one? I'm pretty certain that watching him play a solo like Voodoo Child or even the opening riff to Are You Experienced would be....speechlessly breathtaking. I wouldn't even sing along with tracks because that would be insulting to Mr. Hendrix. Best guitarist of all time, not even close.


What do you think B Siders? Give us your feedback and post your Top 5! This will be a weekly installment all from the desk of my shining apprentice Heidi!