Song of the Moment

J. Cole - Lost Ones

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Christina Aguilera - Bionic

New Music Tuesday has really disgusted me this week, as this is honestly the best I could come up with. The only other even remote option would have been a new Dierks Bentley record, which I know less about them than Aguilera somehow. This is seriously awful. I mean, if someone gave me this cd to listen to for free, I would throw it away faster than you can say genie in a bottle. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse than Ke$ha, boy howdy was I wrong. I would rather listen to Tik Tok on loop, for one hundred and twenty minutes in lieu of listening to this complete garbage. I don't think there is any way anyone can like this. Ugh...I feel a little dirty that this even graced my ears this morning. I'm angry...really angry about this. I can't even pinpoint why - it's just sheer anger waving over my emotional plain. What can you expect from someone that has only put out 4 records since 1999 though? What better way to please your fans than putting out records every 3 years. And better yet, put one out like this one - that could easily have been recorded and written and produced all in 1 day. GARBAGE!!! It's like she's trying to mimic Gaga's success here with the album cover, some of the lyrics and the overall style. She also took some of the super sophomoric lyrics and beats from a Ke$ha type. I know that someone like her has never really had her own identity, because when she broke Spears was already much further ahead in sales. So she's always lived a bit in the back burner. But a track like 'My Girls', man - it just makes you wonder how she has 1 single fan. Just awful. Please, don't listen to this. Ever.

1. Bionic
2. Not Myself Tonight
3. Woohoo
4. Elastic Love
5. Des Nudites
6. Love & Glamour (Intro)
7. Glam
8. Prima Donna
9. Morning Dessert (Intro)
10. Sex For Breakfast
11. Lift Me Up
12. My Heart (Intro)
13. All I Need
14. I Am
15. You Lost Me
16. I Hate Boys
17. My Girls
18. Vanity

Listen To Samples

Top 3 Tracks:
1. Some Other Album
2. Some Other Artist
3. You Get The Point

.25 out of 5 stars


  1. That was absolutely horrible to listen to. You said not to listen to it but I had to. What a train wreck. Christina

  2. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's brutal.

  3. ShaqwandaMcGillisJune 8, 2010 at 1:18 PM

    You should have taken my advice and reviewed Future Breeds by Hot Hot Heat.

    Here. Now you (or anyone else) can. For free. :D

  4. It wasn't in my suggestion box!! I'll get to it tomorrow then.

  5. Shaqwanda McGillisJune 8, 2010 at 1:27 PM

    I recall you telling me you added it to your spreadsheet during our phone call...*spreadsheet nerd*

    (That sounds nothing like the loser sneeze, I promise)

  6. I guess not. I only had this and Dierks for new music Tuesday.

    Besides, I have to review really bad stuff every now and again, otherwise it looks like I'm cherry picking.

  7. I have to admit that I thought... "oh, it can't be THAT bad." I mean she put out "Stripped" which was a great album... but you were right!!! Bionic was horrendous! It's like she trying to revert to the kind of songs she did when she first came out and trying WAY TOO HARD to be edgy, sexy and popular. I'm not having it. She still has a lot of self-discovery to do because she's an incredible singer and this album is a giant black mark on her credibility as an artist.

  8. Yeah...full disclosure, sometimes I say things and review things extra harsh just to get some attention on certain artists and create some discussion - but this was truly awful.

    Even with Kesha I found at least one song I could tap my toes to, and this was no where near that.

    I totally agree. Trying too hard is a perfect way to put it. She needs to rediscover her identity and roll with that. If she's never as popular as Gaga or whomever - that's okay, just be yourself.

  9. ShaqwandaMcGillisJuly 7, 2010 at 10:24 AM

    I was lent this by someone I work with. I had to check out the train wreck. I had to listen...and now I have to get an ear drum transplant. That was so incredibly bad.

    What I find most disturbing is that the album is SO incredibly sexual and dedicated to her son. So very strange.

  10. know someone who actually paid money for this? I'd suggest that person gets their ears checked.

    She's a really odd duck. She was on VH1's Behind the Music a while back...has some nasty skeletons.